Rest in Peace

It took me a while, long days filled with tears and sleepless nights. That dragged on to months and months, but finally I did it. I came to my acceptance, that you’re no longer physically around.

I accepted that the videos I have are the only place I will hear your voice, and the pictures I have are the only place I will see your face.

I accepted that I will no longer be getting your warm hugs, hear you sing, or be listening to your lectures and advice.

It took me a while, after questioning myself and questioning my faith over and over again to accept that your presence in my life will only be a memory. A bittersweet memory that will bring me strength when I need it and that will tear me down when I least expect it.

Two years.. two years you have been gone yet the pain sometimes comes back stronger than before, and the tears run down faster than before.

But that won’t get me anywhere. Holding on to the hurt will not take me anywhere, so instead I turn all this pain to being thankful. Thankful that you were a part of my life, and your memory still is. Thankful for everything you have taught me, and for every time you were by my side. Thankful that you chose me to be your daughter.

So now, as I light this candle I pray for your happiness, and rest. I pray you are healthy, happy, and looking down at me proud of the person you helped me become.

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I have chosen you

I have chosen you,
I have chosen you, as the dose to my addiction, and the light in my life.
I have chosen you, as the ignition to my passion, and the inspiration of my dreams.
I have chosen you, as the remedy to my pain, and the guidance to my future.

I have let you,
I have let you, into my thoughts, into my soul.
I have let you, see the darkest parts of my life, and know my weakest points.
I have let you, sink into the beats of my heart, and swim in the pleasure of my form.

I give you,
I give you, my days and my nights.
I give you, my present and my future.
I give you, my faith, trust and love.

Because I choose you, for today, tomorrow, and forever.

I crave you

I crave you, with every fiber in my body, with every breath I take, and with every beat in my heart.

I crave your touch, I crave your scent, I crave the sound of your voice.

I crave your smile, I crave the look in your eyes, and I crave the chills you make pass down my spin.

I crave your kisses, I crave your kindness, I crave the safety I feel in your arms.

I crave the happiness I feel in your presence, because with you I am at peace with the world.