Home?

What is home to you?

Is home where you grew up?

Is home where you originated from?

Is home in between the four walls you call your comfort zone?

Is home where your mother lays her head at night?

Is home where you have the back alleys all memorized?

Is home where you got your education and threw your cap?

Is home where you met your significant other? or where you started a family?

Is home where you scrapped your knees and counted the trees you passed?

Is home under the roof you built? the stones you put together?

Is home where you find he comfort of your friends?

What is home to you?

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My love

I want to hear your thoughts,I want to hear your words.

I want to see your actions,

I want to see your reactions. 

I want to feel your happiness,

I want to feel your sorrow. 

I want to know your opinions,

I want to know your points.

I want to hear your voice,

I want to see your face,

I want to feel your lips,

I want to know your ways.

I want to live your life, 

Right by your side.

I want you to know,

My love,

My feelings for you will never die.

16/08/2016

I don’t think of you as much anymore. You don’t randomly pop into my mind or appear in my dreams. I don’t suddenly hear your voice in my head giving me advice, or feeding me more lies. I don’t miss you. I don’t long for you. I don’t have love in my heart anymore for you.

But I have to admit, every time I hear your name spoken I flinch. Every time I see a picture of us, or of you, my heart fills with pain. I still hurt. I still drown in anguish from those dark brown eyes. I can’t look at a picture of you for more than 5 seconds before I feel the need to cry, or break my screen.

You broke me. Right when I thought I put myself back together. You broke me, again.

But this time felt a lot worse than the first time. Whenever I hear your name, or see your face I’m choked by all the lies you ever told me. I suffocate with the words that I will never know if they were true, or if they were the words you told her, too.

Years have gone by, and it kills me to say, your name and picture still ruin my day.

Eventually, this will all stop. The pain will go, and your name will leave my memory, along with how you look and all the things you have done. You will never be a regret, just a lesson learned, and a person to never cross paths with again.

Words of a book I will never write #2

Here we go again,
With the butterflies and the red cheeks,
With the fast heartbeats.

Even though it should feel wrong,
All I do is day dream of you.

Your eyes and smile,
Your lips as well.

Why can’t I seem,
to get you out of my head.

That winter night you spent by my side,
How could I forget,
Your lips on mine.

I was surprised,
Didn’t expect that move,
But I’m so glad,
You felt the same way, too.

With all these feelings,
Going about.
It sadness me that,
We have to stay apart.

Pondering

I sit and ponder about the people passing by,
I wonder, how broken are they inside?
I watch their walk, and the way they speak.
I watch their eyes, and see what their soul is trying to leak.

I sit on my own and think of the people I know,
Are they happy on the inside? Or is it just a show.

Are they at peace with their past?
Are they going about their lives too fast?
Do they appreciate the little things in life?
Or maybe they are always in a strife.

I sit and ponder about how similar I may be,
With the stranger that is standing, in line, next to me.
Have they hit rock bottom?
Have they reached their dreams?
Have they overcome their horrible fear?

We are used to comparing each other up front,
Comparing our skin, our hair, our height.
But then I realized,
How foolish we have been,
Because we are all the same under our skin.

Our bones, our hearts, our veins, our soul,
Have all been created by the same source.

So, I sit and ponder about the people passing by,
And now I know, we are all hiding feelings inside.
We do not know the struggle that may be drowning their soul,
We do not know the trouble causing them not to reach their goal.

Next time you sit and watch the people around you,
Remember they may be struggling, just like you.
So smile to strangers, and lend a helping hand when needed,
Because one day you could be the one that needs to receive it.

Random 101

He wants me because of my body,
He wants me because of my hair,
He wants me because of my lips,
Not because he cares.

He wants me because I walk tall,
He wants me because I’m well dressed,
He wants me because I’m fun,
Not because he thinks I’m the one.

He wants me because I’m “a turn on”,
He wants me because I get him hard,
He wants me because of his fantasies,
Not because of my heart.

When guys like this come your way,
Smile real nice and walk away,
Don’t be angry, rude, or mean,
Show that loser,
the ass he’ll never touch.

“I expected it…”

What does it even make a difference when you “expect” something is going to happen? Even when you expect an event, it throws you down with a punch to the gut once it happens.

We expected it to finish, we expected him to die, we expected s/he was cheating … It still hurts just as bad as if it would have come as a surprise.

You would think that when you expect something bad is going to happen you would be a bit prepared, but honestly, nothing you do will help you prepare for the heartache, confusion and sleepless nights.