My Beautiful

My hair is not always in place,
My nails are not always painted neatly.
My face is not always clear,
Makeup does not always cover my face.
My clothes are not always ironed right,
And the colors I wear don’t always match.
I don’t have a sweet laugh,
But rather an obnoxious one.
My teeth are not perfect,
And my smile is not always straight.
My voice is not always soft,
My words are not always graceful.
My eating can be messy,
And if the drink is good then there could be a slurp at the end.
I don’t always have good days,
I can be mean when I’m mad.
But even though,
My character is strong,
My soul is sensitive.
My hand is always held out to help,
My arms are always welcoming to new and old friends.
I can strike up a conversation with a total stranger,
I can strike up a conversation with an animal.
I am genuine,
I am straightforward,
I am honest,
I am caring.
And that, that is my beautiful.

That Is How I Found The Beauty Within Me

I bought three packs of colors the other day. You know, I realized I needed to color my life. A pack of markers, a pack of crayons and a pack of pencil colors. I sat down on my bed, with a white sheet of paper in front of me and a pencil in my hand. “What am I suppose to do? I don’t even know how to draw”, I thought to myself. I got a ruler out and began to draw lines. Not knowing where to stop, or what to create, I just kept drawing lines. They went around, across and in between. Of course none were the same size, and neither were the spaces they created. I even got a circular box and began adding circles to my lines. By the time I was done with it I realized it was too crowded and chaotic to even add colors. It was too much of a disaster to make it beautiful.

After a few minutes of staring at this scribble filled paper, I decided to erase parts. I unwrapped a new white rubber and began to take away parts of my madness. I erased a few lines here and there. I erased a few circles and drew them elsewhere. I took my sweet, sweet time, and really looked at this piece with determination. After a while, I sat back and drew a smile on my face because I could honestly say I was proud of these lines and circles I had drawn. It was nothing special, nothing huge, but it just looked nice to me.

I then popped out my pencil colors and began to add beauty to the lines. I used various colors, and that really made me feel happy. Simplicity always did make me happy. I spent an afternoon on my bed working at this piece of paper and at the end of the evening I was filled with joy that I had finished it, and I did it so well.

That night, while I was in bed, I compared that paper to my life. I realized, that is what I had to do to add color to my life. I needed to take a step back and look at my messy self and decide, what I wanted to keep, or I should say, who I wanted to keep in my life. I had to decided what needed to be changed, what needed to be altered, and what needed to be completely pushed away.

That’s what I did. The next day, I began to work on myself. I erased and adjusted, I experimented and decided what I wanted and what I didn’t want anymore. A week later I noticed all the new colors that were automatically added to my life. I noticed the bright and the light. I noticed the bits of shades and pretty darks. I began to see the beauty I hold.

Once you start seeing the beauty within you, the beauty you hold, there is no going back from there.

But Then There Was Him…

As I grew, I began to realize the beauty of this world.
The beauty of the Lebanese sunrise on the mediterranean;
The beauty of a star filled sky in Lubbock;
The beauty of the Christmas lights on the houses in Chicago.

As I grew, I began to understand the beauty of this world.
The beauty of helping an elder cross the street;
The beauty of feeding a stray animal that sits at the corner of the office;
The beauty of watching family members walk through the airport gates as they come home after a long time.

As I grew, I experienced the beauty of this world.
The beauty of walking the stage at graduation;
The beauty that comes from excitement while on an airplane;
The beauty of feeling independent at my first real job.

As I grew, I thought I had understood what true beauty in this world was,
But then there was him…

At that moment, I learned how to feel beauty with every fiber in my being.
The beauty of his lips on mine;
The beauty of his fingers on my skin;
The beauty of his warm breath on my neck;
The beauty in the sound of his heartbeat.

At that moment, I learned how to feel beauty with every fiber in my being.
The beauty of his single dimple that makes my heart rush;
The beauty of his dark eyes that make me blush;
The beauty of his voice every time he says a word.
The beauty in his tight hugs when he doesn’t want me to go.

At that moment, I learned how to feel beauty with every fiber in my being.
The beauty of falling asleep in his arms;
The beauty of waking up to his kiss;
The beauty of the fire we ignite;
The beauty of the passion in our chest.

And now, I know,
that beauty I felt,
will never come again,
except from him.

Those Eyes

There’s a saying that goes around,
When someone gets mesmerised in eyes,
“I can get lost in your eyes”,
They say,
But honestly I never felt that way.

Until that morning I started work,
I sat there and froze,
I felt out in space.
All because your eyes looked my way.

There is not a color to describe those beauties.
Not in any language, book, or any movie.
The way their shade changes,
Depending on your mood,
Got my heart skipping,
for you.

Until this day,
Whenever you’re around,
I stop for a moment,
And lose myself in the crowd.

A word should be created for your eyes,
A whole langue should be created,
To describe their beauty.