He’ll never admit it

I know he still loves me. I catch him staring at me when he thinks I’m not looking. I notice the way he acts differently when I’m around. If he didn’t still love me, he would treat me just like any other person, but he doesn’t. I hear the hesitation in his voice before he says my name. I see the curiosity in his eyes when I talk about something and he wants to know more but he doesn’t want to be the one that asks. I know he still loves me. I know he still cares. But he’ll never admit it to me. He’ll never admit it to himself.

You

The city lights at night remind me of you,
I’m not sure why, they just do.

I sit there and wonder,
Where you might be.
I sit there and wonder,
If you ever think of me.

Do I cross your mind?
Do I appear in your dreams?
Do you still smile,
When you think of me?

Am I pain from your past,
Or am I a sweet memory?
I just sit there and wonder,
If you ever think of me.

Years go by,
We grow,
We change,
but a piece of my heart,
Will forever,
be yours to keep.

It has been a year!

June 29th, 2015 marked my one year working for Schlumberger. Crazy how this worked out.

On June 29th, 2014, I joined Schlumberger, Qatar, for a two month internship. My life plan was to finish these two months then move to the US and see where life takes me from there.

When those two months were over, my manager asked me to stay until the end of January 2015. I thought, four more months won’t do no harm, I’ll just move to the US in February. End of January came and they have asked me to stay for longer. Now, I realize it has been a year, and I am still here.

People have asked me why I have stayed, why I did not just refuse the job offer and move to the US like I wanted to. Honestly, I could have done that, but, a little stability wasn’t a bad idea. I’m young, I was a fresh graduate with zero experience in my field, and I got a golden opportunity at an international firm. My heart wanted to be wild, but it was time to think with my head, and see what was best for my future. Thankfully I can move to the US anytime I want, no need to hurry it up since I have a great opportunity here.

I enjoy what I do, I am still learning a lot, and I would not mind staying here longer.

My biggest lesson was, don’t plan your future, ride the wave that comes your way!

She Drowns

She walks to her room,
Kicks off her shoes,
And right on to the mattress she rolls.

Gets under the blankets,
With her face stuffed in the pillow,
And down the tears stroll.

Trying to keep her breath steady,
And her voice on the low,
She breaks down all alone.

Her eyes shut tight,
She feels her heart is in pieces,
And in the pain of her memories she drowns.

What if. . .?

What if you could see people’s feelings through their eyes?
What if you could see the pieces of their broken heart?

Would you walk away?
Stay clear of the mess?

Or would you lend a helping hand?
Would you try to help them mend?

What if you could see people’s feelings through their eyes?
What if you could see the scars from their battered heart?

Would you turn around?
Would you go a separate way?

Or would you help them heal?
Would you hold them close all day?

What if you could see people’s feelings through their eyes?
What if you could see all the tears they cried?

Would you leave them astray?
Let them go their way?

Or would you wipe those tears with the palm of your hand?
Would you help them swim out of the puddle they are drowning in?

What if?
What if. . .?

I Choose Love

In life, some people choose money to motivate them or help guide them in achieving what they want. Some people choose family, some people choose fame, and some people choose love.
I for one, choose love. Maybe I say that because I am choosing the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Actually, I’m pretty sure it is for the one I have willingly given my heart to.

In the past few years, everything and anything I planned for went the complete opposite way. I never thought at the age of 21 I would be where I am now. I guess God did not want me to go down the path I thought was the right one for me. Now, after the things I have accomplished, (graduating from college, getting my first accounting job in an amazing international company), I want to base my goals, or next steps in life you can say, on love.

In a few years’ time I could be extremely wrong and decide it was a horrible idea, but who knows if I will live to the day I may realize it was the wrong path to go down. It may not go the way I want it to, however, whichever way it goes, I know it will benefit me more than it will break me.
For now, I am happy with my decision, and I am still achieving what I want to achieve yet with a little twist, which I am completely okay with.

In the end, my happiness is what counts. Not what someone else may think about my decision, or how I plan to live my life.