Soul Recognition

Something about him was familiar. I knew we never met before but his presence felt extremely familiar. Those bright eyes pierced me with comfort. That smile overwhelmed me with a cozy feeling.

How could you feel so familiar when our paths had never crossed before?

I was in a new city, surrounded by strange people, and everyday you stood out. I would smile, I would say hello, but for a confident person, I couldn’t summon up the courage to approach you and start a conversation.

On our last night in that interesting city I decided it was now or never. We ended up speaking for hours, and I understood how my soul got attracted to you before I knew anything about you.

You have a vibe that I haven’t been introduced to before. A personality of gold, and the more I got to know you, the more my heart wanted to hold on.

My insides did not just do jumping jacks all night, they started a protest inside of me to not let you walk out of my life.

As the sun started to come up I realized this night, that felt like a chapter out of my favorite romance novel, was about to end. You would be getting on a flight back home in a few hours, and I would be getting on a flight back to my home later that day.

How can a conversation with a stranger change so much in you? A couple of hours with you changed my point of view on important aspects in my life. Days later and your voice filled with advice and knowledge rings in my head. You left a print on my soul, and I sit and wonder if I left a print on yours.

 

Dealing with a Pessimist

A pessimist is, “a person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to be gloomy”. (www.dictionary.com/browse/pessimist)

Dealing with a pessimist is hard. They are always so negative, they always complain, and they think everyone in the world is out to get them. They think they have the worst possible luck on this planet, and it is just exhausting trying to keep up with them.

Someone very dear to my heart is a huge pessimist. He is always sad, or angry, and always blames everything and everyone for his misfortune. He is never the type to stop for a second and think maybe his actions led him here, or that maybe if he did something different in his life things would look brighter.

He is a kindhearted human, with such a sweet, yet damaged soul, and it breaks my heart seeing him so negative.

First and for most, when dealing with a pessimist, you need to make it clear to them that you will always be there for them. You should regularly ask about them, even if they don’t ask about you.

My sweet yet negative friend only asks about me when he needs something. That never bothers me because that’s what I’m here for. However, I will text him or give him a call every now and then to see how he is doing and how things are going.

Second, you should always have a positive attitude when speaking to them. Always have a cheerful tone of voice, and be supportive to anything they say. Pessimist are not looking for a solution, they are looking for someone to listen.

When my dear friend starts complaining, I always listen to everything he has to say and ask questions about his situation to try and understand his perspective more. Many times I use his words and situation and talk about the bright side of things. Sometimes, I make fun of his situation but in a sensitive way. I make him laugh at himself and he understands that he is just overreacting.

When talking to your pessimist friend, don’t just make the conversation about them. Even if they don’t ask you, you should speak about yourself. Tell them whats going in your life, and talk about things you might be going through.

I talk to my friend about different events happening around town. I tell him about whats been happening in my life and how I’ve been spending my days. I talk about things I know he’ll like, too. For instants, new movies that came out, a new episode of a show we watch, or even a new song or album but one of his favorite artists/bands. Even if he doesn’t ask, I tell him whats been happening with our friends, or family members. I always try and make him feel like he is apart of my life and a part of our friends circle.

Pessimist are very hard on themselves. Some of them think they are not smart, or worthy, or good enough for anything in life. A lot of them keep their circle very small because they think they might be overwhelming for other people. They also think that most people judge them and it makes them want to stay at home and not be social. That is why it is important to include your pessimist friend in outings and different things you do. Make them feel welcome.

Being realistic with your pessimist friend is crucial. Do not lie to them about what you think or how you feel. You don’t want to be rude, but at the same time you don’t want to just sugarcoat everything. You want your friend to eventually get out of this stage in their life. You want them to realize that good and bad things happen to everyone and that they cannot just concentrate on the bad. They have to keep track of the good, and realize that many times in life they have to pick themselves up and be their own number one supporter and motivator.

Most importantly, what I find, is never compare your pessimist friends issues, or situations to anyone or anything else. They will just hate it when they are being compared to starving kids in Africa, or war torn countries in the middle east.

Words

How can I put into words the way my heart beats while I am around you?

How can I put into words the peacefulness my soul feel because of you?

You entered my life out of the blue, and swept me away on day two.

I was mesmerized, wowed, blown away, all by the things you had to say. I fell for the way you spoke, and the way you sang. I fell for your words, your opinions, your points.

Your smile and eyes, your sweet gestures and laugh, those all helped ignite my addiction. With every moment I spent with you, my craving for you grew.

You awoke a part of me that I had believed to be long gone. Vibes rushed through my body like never before. You gave me feelings I never knew I had.

I surrendered myself to you and you handled me with so much passion and care. You took me to a world I didn’t know existed. I never knew one person could fill me up with so much happiness and joy.

I was always happy on my own, but since you entered my life, you made me the happiest human on this globe.

Leading someone on

Is it not the sweetest feeling when you meet someone and there is a click. You start speaking regularly, and you get butterflies. You look forward to the phone calls throughout the day and the sweet goodnight messages. You get that ‘awww’ feeling when you wake up with a good morning message, and when you see them in person your heart just skips a beat.

This goes on for a month or two, and then you admit that this person has become a part of your life. Not speaking to them daily just feels wrong.

And then, when you least expect it, right out of the blues, they just cut you off. They take a long time to reply, they speak more formally, or they just stop replying. You, of course, feel absolutely horrible. How else would you feel?

You let it go on for a couple of days while you feel absolutely worthless, then you decide to mention it to the person. There are two ways they would react to this. One way is where they would act like they are the nice, and thoughtful person and say they don’t want to hurt you. They will say something along the lines of, “I think I’m falling in love with you, and I just don’t want to hurt you at the end. You’re a wonderful and sweet person and I don’t want to ruin our friendship”(even though there is no friendship to pick up after all this). When they play the good guy/girl, that makes you feel even worse, but it shouldn’t.

The second way they would react to such a situation, is by becoming rude and mean. They start belittling you with every word they say, and make you think that you’re crazy. They make you feel like you were in your own bubble and the feelings and emotions were just coming from you, not them as well. That, makes you feel stupid.

No matter what way they react it will hurt, but you should always remember that they are the ones that have done you wrong by leading you on in the first place if they didn’t intend to stay in your life.

There is no excuse that could justify a person when they lead someone else on without the intend of loving them. I believe, a person that leads someone else on and then cuts them off just does it because they have low self-esteem and they want to feel special for a while and then just disappear when they have had enough. They only try to make themselves feel better, and they do not truly care about the other person.

I know, I know, some of you are thinking, but it felt so real.. how can someone show so much love and passion towards an individual and then just forget it, right? Well, some people are just ill and see this as a game. Maybe they try to see how many people they can get interested in them and then just walk away. It is disgusting to know that there are humans that do that.

At the end, just remember, YOU are better than them. YOU are worthy of so much more. YOU will find someone who truly deserves you.

They might come back to you later when they realize they have made a mistake, but at the end there are only two types of people in the world, the ones you can forgive and the ones you need to forget. People that lead you on with no intentions of actually going further in the relationship, are the ones that you need to forget.

You knew exactly what you had, you just never thought they would leave

There’s this quote I always read that says, “You never know what you have until it’s gone”. Then there is another quote that says, “You knew exactly what you had, you just never thought they would leave”.

That second quote, is accurate on SO many levels, specially when you are in a relationship. When you are with someone, there are things you do that bother them. Of course, there will be things that they do that bother you as well. Now, some people do not tell their partner what bothers them but you can tell when they don’t like something you do.

Once you know that specific actions bother the person you love, you should change them, or adjust them. A person should not be the only reason for your change, but if it is something you can live without, then why not. Show the person that you care about what they think and how they feel, and make a difference. Your person should have a good reason though on why they are getting bothered by your actions.

I have changed a lot throughout the years. Everyone changes even when they don’t realize it. I’ve made a lot of alterations, you can say, to my life, to my friends, to my points of view, and to myself. everything that changed was because I wanted to change it. However, some things were derived by other people.

I changed a bunch of stuff in my life for the man I love. Somethings I wish I changed earlier in my relationship, so he could feel how much I actually cared about his perspective and his opinion, instead of me just saying I do.

Now people may say that who ever wants to be with you has to accept everything about you as a whole and not want you to change. That, in my opinion is wrong. There will always be things that bother you about the person you love. They won’t force you to change, but out of respect and love, you will change.

If you keep repeating an action that your partner does not like they will eventually get up and leave. You cannot just expect them to wake up one day and decide something that bothers them is okay. When they actually leave you are going to regret not stopping some bad habit for them, or not adjusting an action for them.

Somethings in your life may be normal to you, but not normal to them, and vise versa. Somethings could be very normal to your partner, but to you it is not acceptable whatsoever. That is why compromise, and change is needed in all relationships. You will never meet someone who is exactly the way you always wanted. With the characteristics, and personality you have dreamed of. Great relationships aren’t great because your partner is perfect, they are great because you and your partner work together to keep each other happy. You both respect each others thoughts and opinions and you compromise to make sure that no one is hurting the other.

Left alone, left in silence

Clouds have gathered with so much darkness, stripping her from her rainbow days. Full of laughter, smiles, and actions. Now all she wants is to be left alone, to be left in silence.

She’s tired of voices. She’s tired of rules. She’s tired of having to follow the norms that people have set. She’s tired of being attacked because of every word she says. No more judgement, no more comments, no more people trying to mold her thoughts.

She’s trying to break out, break away from the words that are bringing her down. Yet they tend to follow her, they tend to be in every sentence that a person says.

She wants to be let free, to live the way she pleases. To believe in what convinces her, and to act the way she feels is right. That’s what she wants, her rights. Her rights to be the person she wants to be. Her rights to love who she wants, pray to who she wants, say what she wants, and live the way she wants.

She’s not fighting with the world, or with a nation, she’s fighting with a person who is trying to bottle her up. Trying to block her rays of sun, and destory her creative side. She’s fighting with a person who is trying to clip her wings and make her feeling like she is no one special. Like she’s not capable of much.

The day will come when her eyes will light up again, when her lips will smile and her laughter will ring. But for now, all she wants is to be left alone, to be left in silence.

Lack of knowledge leads to Racism

Lack of knowledge actually leads to many negative things in life, but my main concern for this post is racism. Religion racism to be exact.

I am a Christian that was born and raised in a Qatar, a Muslim country. The amount of racism I got growing up was crazy. I remember ever since the age of 9 little girls my age and a bit older would come and ask when I will convert to Islam. I use to always tell them I would never change my religion and their response would always be “but then you will go to hell because only Muslims go to heaven”. As a child you could imagine how terrifying that was, but eventually I got use to it and learned to ignore it.

Some kids would not talk to me when they found out I was of a different faith which was so hurtful as a child. I remember walking around malls with my cross on and people would just stare like I was an alien. Even once I was in an elevator at a big mall with my older sister and this little boy, he couldn’t be over the age of 6, nudged his sister and said “look kufar”. He didn’t think we were Arab so he didn’t know we would understand what he said.

As I grew older I realized that in the Islamic classes of public schools in Qatar, many teachers would refer to Christians as ‘Kufar’ which basically means non-believers of God, and people that did not believe in God would go to hell.

Getting so much hate because of my religion made me a stronger person.

Growing up in a very non-religious household, I didn’t know much about Christianity. Actually, I knew a lot more about Islam than Christianity, so I decided to research about my religion and read the bible. I attended a few Sunday school classes around the 5th grade as well as the 9th grade but I didn’t stay for long. I preferred learning on my own.

Those little children that use to mistreat me or make me feel very uncomfortable about who I was  because of my religion were actually the ignition to me learning about Christianity. I’m actually glad I had racism around me because if it wasn’t for them I would not have wanted to learn about Christianity. At the age of 21, I still do get slight racism, but mainly I get lots of questions about Christianity, and I love it because I can educate people about it. Not in a way were I would want someone to convert to Christianity, no, but in a way that would make people more understanding and more acceptable of what is different from them.

After all, Islam and Christianity and incredibly alike. We believe in so many similar things, and when more people start to understand that, the less racism there will be.

I don’t want to change the world, but if I can educate a person about something they know very little about, then I have accomplished a big thing in life.