For years I knew he was a point of weakness for me. I finally realized just that, he was only a single point.
Something about him was familiar. I knew we never met before but his presence felt extremely familiar. Those bright eyes pierced me with comfort. That smile overwhelmed me with a cozy feeling.
How could you feel so familiar when our paths had never crossed before?
I was in a new city, surrounded by strange people, and everyday you stood out. I would smile, I would say hello, but for a confident person, I couldn’t summon up the courage to approach you and start a conversation.
On our last night in that interesting city I decided it was now or never. We ended up speaking for hours, and I understood how my soul got attracted to you before I knew anything about you.
You have a vibe that I haven’t been introduced to before. A personality of gold, and the more I got to know you, the more my heart wanted to hold on.
My insides did not just do jumping jacks all night, they started a protest inside of me to not let you walk out of my life.
As the sun started to come up I realized this night, that felt like a chapter out of my favorite romance novel, was about to end. You would be getting on a flight back home in a few hours, and I would be getting on a flight back to my home later that day.
How can a conversation with a stranger change so much in you? A couple of hours with you changed my point of view on important aspects in my life. Days later and your voice filled with advice and knowledge rings in my head. You left a print on my soul, and I sit and wonder if I left a print on yours.
Things get worse,
Life gets harder,
People become rude,
Friends pick up and leave for good.
Siblings stop talking,
Money runs out,
Storms pick up and destroy everything in sight.
Hope gets lost,
Patience runs out,
Nothing remains but to tap out.
My hair is not always in place,
My nails are not always painted neatly.
My face is not always clear,
Makeup does not always cover my face.
My clothes are not always ironed right,
And the colors I wear don’t always match.
I don’t have a sweet laugh,
But rather an obnoxious one.
My teeth are not perfect,
And my smile is not always straight.
My voice is not always soft,
My words are not always graceful.
My eating can be messy,
And if the drink is good then there could be a slurp at the end.
I don’t always have good days,
I can be mean when I’m mad.
But even though,
My character is strong,
My soul is sensitive.
My hand is always held out to help,
My arms are always welcoming to new and old friends.
I can strike up a conversation with a total stranger,
I can strike up a conversation with an animal.
I am genuine,
I am straightforward,
I am honest,
I am caring.
And that, that is my beautiful.
I know he still loves me. I catch him staring at me when he thinks I’m not looking. I notice the way he acts differently when I’m around. If he didn’t still love me, he would treat me just like any other person, but he doesn’t. I hear the hesitation in his voice before he says my name. I see the curiosity in his eyes when I talk about something and he wants to know more but he doesn’t want to be the one that asks. I know he still loves me. I know he still cares. But he’ll never admit it to me. He’ll never admit it to himself.
Local Girl Missing by Claire Douglas, was a great read. I finished the book in three days because, well, I had a lot of free time on my hands, and I just couldn’t put it down. I kept wanting to know what was going to happen next!
The book is about a 21 year old girl, named Sophie, that goes missing in a small town and it breaks her best friends heart. After almost 20 years, Sophie’s brother Daniel and her best friend Francesca go back to the old town and look for answers.
For days and weeks I was distracted from work, life, and family. I had sleepless nights because all I thought about was, what did I do wrong.
What did I do that you felt so comfortable pushing me away?
What did I say that you thought it was fine to walk away without saying a word?
Where did I go wrong, that you did not feel any guilt ignoring me and going about your life like I was no one important to you?
I felt horrible about myself. I felt worthless and unimportant. I felt incapable of being loved.
You made me doubt myself, my abilities, and my choices in life.
You made me doubt my character and my way of living.
However, after all that, I want to say thank you.
Thank you for breaking me, and teaching me how to put myself back together alone.
Thank you for making me feel bad about myself because now I am a much more confident soul.
Thank you for walking away, because when you left I found myself, and I learned my true worth.
When I thought there was something wrong with me, I eventually began to think clearer, see clearer and realize, there was nothing ever wrong with me, but everything wrong with you.
I was so blinded by your charisma that I never noticed you had zero personality. You spoke to people like they were beneath you just to make yourself feel better because you knew you had no character.
You build your muscles to cover up your weak soul.
You never have proper conversations with people because you don’t know how to keep an interesting conversation going.
You lack knowledge, you lack life, you lack love.
That is why I thank you, because of your weakness and insecurity, I found my light and strength.