I hit rock bottom.
I hit rock bottom and didn’t even want to get back up. I was tired and drained and I had lost all hope in a better me.
I doubted myself. I doubted my capabilities, my possibilities, and my power. My confidence was shattered and I didn’t care to work on myself.
I let go of life and began going with the flow, just like a dead fish would. I convinced myself I was okay. I convinced myself that I would become better, even though I wasn’t working on it.
I didn’t try, I didn’t care, I didn’t even want to get better. What was the use piecing myself back together when I was going to shatter again?
One day, out of the blue I thought to myself, I’m in a better place. I realized, I was happy and living my life again. I don’t remember when it happened, or how it even happened. I don’t remember how I got better without even realizing. But I did.
Sometime during those long dark nights, and coffee cups, something inside be began to mend, and it shined right through.
I know it’s wrong, I know it’s not meant to be, but how do I tell my heart how to feel?
Heartbeats and butterflies,
Sunsets and mountain views.
Road trips and long walks,
Late nights and random cruises.
Tan lines, and wine stains,
Cigarette smoke, and long tales.
Warm hugs and honest words,
Forehead kisses and a hand to hold.
Smiles that brighten the eyes and laughter that fills the air.
Lips that kiss the flesh and arms that hold the soul.
Bodies that become one, and moans that vibrate the veins.
Cigarette after cigarette,
Wine glass number three,
The fidget in her smile,
The lost glisten in her eyes,
What happened to the girl, that was once so alive?
For years I knew he was a point of weakness for me. I finally realized just that, he was only a single point.
Something about him was familiar. I knew we never met before but his presence felt extremely familiar. Those bright eyes pierced me with comfort. That smile overwhelmed me with a cozy feeling.
How could you feel so familiar when our paths had never crossed before?
I was in a new city, surrounded by strange people, and everyday you stood out. I would smile, I would say hello, but for a confident person, I couldn’t summon up the courage to approach you and start a conversation.
On our last night in that interesting city I decided it was now or never. We ended up speaking for hours, and I understood how my soul got attracted to you before I knew anything about you.
You have a vibe that I haven’t been introduced to before. A personality of gold, and the more I got to know you, the more my heart wanted to hold on.
My insides did not just do jumping jacks all night, they started a protest inside of me to not let you walk out of my life.
As the sun started to come up I realized this night, that felt like a chapter out of my favorite romance novel, was about to end. You would be getting on a flight back home in a few hours, and I would be getting on a flight back to my home later that day.
How can a conversation with a stranger change so much in you? A couple of hours with you changed my point of view on important aspects in my life. Days later and your voice filled with advice and knowledge rings in my head. You left a print on my soul, and I sit and wonder if I left a print on yours.
Things get worse,
Life gets harder,
People become rude,
Friends pick up and leave for good.
Siblings stop talking,
Money runs out,
Storms pick up and destroy everything in sight.
Hope gets lost,
Patience runs out,
Nothing remains but to tap out.