Je m’appelle Nadine


Yesterday, I had my frist French class, which I was very excited about. Being a Lebanese citizen people assume I know French because it is our second language, however, growing up in Qatar and being American English educated, I know 0.75% French.

My sister and I kept saying we wanted to take French classes but we were always too busy to sign up. Finally, we signed up and are attending.

For the first class, I thought it was pretty intense. I assumed we would start with the alphabets and numbers. You know, week days and months. It didn’t really go that way. She said we would speak English in this first class but in our next classes she will only speak French but we could answer her in English.

We started with basic conversations.. good morning, good evening, hello, goodbye.. We learned how to introduce ourselves, name, age, nationality, our motivation to learn French and where we live. We also spoke about different monuments in France. She would speak French fast every now and then and I would get wide eyed and just stare in confussion.

As a way to practice or pratique, as the french say, I will introduce myself in French!

Bonjour, (good morning)
Je m’apelle Nadine. (My name is Nadine)
Je suis célibataire. (I am single)
J’habite au Qatar, a Doha. ( I live in Qatar, Doha)
J’ai vingt et un ans. (I am 21 years old)

I will be having two hour classes twice a week for the next 3 months.. Let us see how much my French improves!


Lebanon, piece of heaven


Many poets have written for you,
Many voices have sung for you,
Many people have died for you,
And many families long to return to you.

Lebanon, a piece of heaven on earth, they say,
How I wish I knew you in a better way.
For my blood and roots belong to you,
Yet my childhood on your land does not exist.

I come to you as a visitor,
My beloved home land.
I come to you as an outsider,
Because that is where I stand.

Politics and greedy leaders,
Have torn you apart.
Due to those troubles,
Our parents and their parents, left the struggle,
In hope for one day to return to your heart.

At 21, I stand lost in your beauty that I see on the screens,
At 21, I stand lost in the smiles of my family I see in pictures, that I didn’t grow near,
At 21, I stand lost in the country I should know everything about,
At 21, I stand lost, because I know nothing about the land where my roots come from.

Lebanon, a piece of heaven on earth, they say,
I await the day, on your soil, I will kneel and pray.
For I will be home, on the land I belong,
Even if just for a visit,
Even if just for a day,
I will get to say, “I’m home today”..



High School Sweetheart

I took a deep breath and submitted,
After four long years I finally admitted,
I want to see him.

I want to see him see me,
That was the key.
Will he look me in the eye?
Or will he walk right past me?

All this time I wanted to give in,
To pick up the phone,
Would he answer when he saw me ringing?

Now that I know he’s back in town,
Should I reach out,
Or would I look like a clown?

Making a move after all these years,
Just to see if a part of his heart still beats for me.

Just to see how I would feel when I looked in his eyes,
Would I melt to the core?
I wouldn’t be surprised.

But maybe this time my heart and my mind will agree,
That there is no place for him inside of me.
That his presence won’t make me feel weak,
And his voice won’t be anymore unique.

The walls of this house …

The walls of this house have all my joys,
All my happiness,
All my celebrations.

The walls of this house have all my sadness,
All my screams,
All my tears.

The walls of this house have all my loving,
The man who kept coming,
The kisses and hugs I kept giving.

The walls of this house have all my stories,
The funny ones,
And the thrillers.

The walls of this house have all my darkness,
All my fears,
All my Loneliness.

The walls of this house have all my broken dreams,
The what I could have been,
The what I should have done.

The walls of this house hold my pieces together,
And the day has come,
When this house has turned into rubble,
Just like me. . .

Song of the month for me

I heard this song on the radio and ever since I cannot stop listening to it. Ed Sheeran sings Thinking Out Loud incredibly!! The words are amazing, and when I am alone I sing along at the top of my lungs. So much emotion in it, it’s my new obsession. It’s one of those love songs that are very catchy, and not too mushy or cheesy.

Need a new song to check out : Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud

Let me know what you think! 🙂

He said YES!

Would it be crazy to fly 12,708km for just a week?
Even if it would be, I’m still going to do it AND I AM SO EXCITED.

I have nine days off of work next month for Eid, (Muslim religious celebration), and I thought, what the heck, why don’t I fly to Texas! I have my visa to the US so no need to reapply, I have a place to stay, I have a big discount on the ticket, then why not?
However, being an Arab girl who still lives with her parents, it wasn’t my decision in the end, it was my dads. Even though I was super excited, I thought there was only a 20% chance he would say yes. No one in the Middle East flies to America for just a week. Most people thing if you’re going on a 15 hour flight then might as well make the stay abroad worth it. For me, going for seven exact days is worth the flight!

After work, I spoke to my dad and presented all the facts and gave him exact dates and times of flights. He looked at me like I was CRAZY! After letting it sink in a for a few minutes he said, YES! I was so shocked that I asked him if he was sure three times. Even my mom was in disbelief that he agreed.

After two years, I’m finally going to visit my host family and friends.

Now, that I have my fathers approval the only issue would be the flight. The catch of getting a cheap ticket is I only get on the flight if there is an empty seat. After checking the flights I’m planning on taking, they are still pretty empty however with three more weeks to go they can fill up. Praying this small trip works out! I would be the happiest person in the WORLD.


Your voice is my strength

Suddenly one day, out of the blues I realized, your voice is the only voice that can calm me down. Your voice is the only voice that can truly put a smile on my face.

As I get depressed from different issues in my life I begin to isolate myself from friends and family. Other than my work colleagues (because I have to see them every morning), I avoid everyone once I get home. I lock myself in my room with a book and just disappear.

I try changing my mood myself. I turn some music on, but then that leads to sad music that puts me down even more. I turn on the TV but then you have all these romantic movies or happy family movies on every channel that make you feel worse.

Friends text me, and I avoid their messages as if I don’t have my phone with me. If I had to reply then I would lie saying I’m busy with work, or with the family, just because I don’t feel like putting on proper clothes and leaving the front door.

In the middle of all this isolation, I get a text from you and I can’t help but reply right that instance. You of course can tell when something is wrong even if I try to hide it through the letters of my words.

Even when I don’t want to hear my voice, I will talk for hours if it means I get to talk to you. On the phone, your voice smothers me with love and care. I feel more relaxed and free just by the sound of your laugh, or the funny noises you make to get me giggling. You can tell when I’m breaking down, and if I have cried that day just by the way I sound. No one can notice that like you. With me throwing random words out and not making sense at all, you still perfectly understand what I am trying to say.

That moment, that pure moment I realized, your voice is my strength. That specific moment I realized if it wasn’t for your voice and your care I would be at rock bottom not wanting to move or feel better.

Your voice gives me a reason to, smile and work hard. It gives me a reason to believe in a brighter future. That alone helps me get back up on my feet and gives me something to fight for when the whole world is crashing down on me.